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Sex vs. Intimacy


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Couples often have these two terms confused creating more discontent in their relationships.  Similarly, it is important to mention that intimacy is one of the top reasons for relationship breakups and infidelity. 

What is Intimacy?

Intimacy is described as the closeness that exists between the couple.  It refers to the level of understanding and security that each partner has for themselves and the person they love.  Intimacy speaks for the level of commitment and trusts the couple shares.  Intimacy goes beyond the sexual and physical needs of the partners.  It focuses on the couples mental and emotional capacity and predicts the resilience the relationship has to endure external pressures.  Couples that have strong intimacy are willing to be themselves and to accept each other’s differences without feeling threaten or judged.  Being in a committed intimate relationship not only helps couples stay together it also helps the individual’s mental health and overall wellbeing.     

What is Sexual Intimacy?

Sex is a physical act that is often performed in committed relationships that also give off tremendous health benefits for those involved.  However, it is essential to clarify that sex without intimacy does not have the same connection or significance.  Sex within couples is a very intimate act that most people feel will lead to emotional intimacy.  The truth is that it does not work that way, intimacy comes from a place of trust, love, and connection.  As we all know, many things can get in the way of feeling emotionally connected, having complete confidence, or feeling loved. 

Integrating Sex and Intimacy

Couples that co-exist without physical and emotional intimacy are likely to run into relationship problems, consequently ending in break up or infidelity.  Having a clear understanding of each other’s needs and a strong appreciation for one another will improve your chances of a long-lasting relationship and emotional and physical intimacy.  The lack of intimacy in relationships can affect each partner very differently.  For example, the male partner will lose self-confidence whereas the female partner might start feeling insecure.  Below are 4 simple ways to improve the intimacy in your relationship. 

Communication – Having open and consistent conversations about life in general, plans, and couples’ concerns will help you strengthen your relationship and will lead to a deeper connection between your partner and you.  Remember, intimacy relies heavily on mutual trust, acceptance, and love.  

Make Plans – Part of growing older together and having a strong relationship requires planning.  Meaning, logistically allocating time for each other away from daily stresses and family responsibilities.  The time-vested making plans will be worth a million dollars to your relationship.  Get used to set time for regular dates where you spend time away from the daily routine.  For example, a walk in the park, a movie night, or anything else that would provide relaxation and unity.  Additionally, it would be appropriate to plan out weekend escapes for the day or the whole weekend.  Use this alone time to explore each other and re-kindle the love that already exists. 

Build Trust – Relationship trust is feeling confident about the person you love the most.  It is knowing that they are reliable and truthful to your needs as well as their own.  It is knowing that your partner has your back.  Growing this type of relationship takes time and purpose.  Feeling physically and emotionally attracted to someone does not necessarily means you cold heartily trust them.  As a result, having meaningful conversations and building intimacy is essential for any relationship.  Talk about important topics.  Focus on those things that make the relationship work.  Learn to disagree, let’s face it, you are 2 individuals working towards one common goal, so you will not always see eye to eye, but trusting each other will help you cope with the differences.

Show Appreciation – Couples that have strong intimate relations also master the art of appreciating the small things and learning to overlook the meaningless details.  Expressing appreciation for the small gestures will grow you closer and will build a healthy relationship, one based on honesty and love. 

An ongoing intimate and loving relationship requires intention, planning, and maintenance for it to work.  Working the process to make your relationship a priority will lead to a deeper, meaningful intimate relationship, with great sex.  In all, emotional, and physical intimacy in your relationship provides happiness, long-lasting closeness, and amazing sex. 

Why not put the effort and enjoy all the rewards?

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