Marriage is the union of two unique individuals that have committed to each other to harvest their love and admiration into a secure connection that is empowering for each other. Well, at least that is what it should be. Ideally, couples establish a safe relationship that allows room for disagreements and conflict and for each partner to be themselves. Living in a society that views divorce as an acceptable measure to solve differences makes being married more complicated than it already is.
Being married is undoubtedly a hard job to have, but with the proper dedication and respect, it can turn into the most beautiful and rewarding job. I have been married for over 20 years, and occasionally I find myself struggling with aspects of our relationship. It is during those times that I must remind myself that I am not perfect, nor did I marry a perfect man. At other times, I am grateful to have my best friend by my side during those times when life gets hard.
One secret that has helped me stayed married, committed, and in love with my husband is to overlook certain things in the best interest of our relationship. Similarly, this secret has worked for others. Jennifer Lopez appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Tuesday and shared advice given to her by the Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ginsburg was married for over 50 years. The secret is to “Sometimes be just a little deaf – if you hear an unkind word, let it go.” If every couple exercises this simple advice, I am confident that more couples would stay together and live happier lives.
See, some people have an idealistic way of thinking that perfection is the key to success. The fact is, seeking perfection in a relationship or in anything for that matter is a recipe for disaster. Therefore, we all need to create room in our lives for mistakes, disappointments, forgiveness, and to be a little deaf. Start choosing your battles and let go of the insignificant things that tear your relationship down and focus on building a secure connection.
Are you struggling with keeping a secure connection? A licensed mental health professional can help you improve your relationship. Call my office today and let’s schedule a time to talk.
Lopez, J. (2019, September 10). Jimmy Fallon [Television series episode]. Interview. In The Tonight Show. New York, NY: NBC.