We all have heard of individuals stating, “I’m waiting until after the Holidays to file for divorce.” Because most people miraculously think that sparing the children from knowing the plans before Christmas will soften their emotional chaos. The fact is, after a divorce, the children, and family will most likely be worse off than they were before starting the proceeding.
The U.S. Government Accountability Office conducted a study in 2012 that concluded that household income fell by 41 percent after a divorce. The whole family suffers, as a result, of breaking the family up. The couple initially must deal with the devastating consequences of making sense of the legal proceedings, family life, and logistics of raising HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL CHILDREN. Not realizing that children that come from a split home are more likely to deal with depression, anxiety, substance use, and have higher suicide risk. Obviously, every divorce does not end badly, but the odds are against you if you think you will have a good separation.
Considering the gamble, you are taking with your future and your children’s lives, wouldn’t make more sense to Choose to stay Married and work through the problems?
The former First Lady Michelle Obama in her latest book Becoming talks about working through their marriage problems in counseling and realizing that your spouse does not make you happy. Being happy comes from within, and it takes a lot of hard and honest work. Many couples focused on the financial problems and the frequent disagreements and value their happiness contingent in those minor everyday issues. Let me ask you – Is every work day a good work day? I suspect that the answer is NO. Do we love our job less and less every time we have a stressful day? Not really. Chances are the love and passion you have for that job does not get changed, what does is your adaptability for the position and the tolerance you have for everyday problems. As professionals, we are open to seek guidance and to reach the professional goal we have for ourselves.
Why not treat our Marriages and Families with the same guidelines? When marriages start losing their spark, and frequent problems arise that is the time to go invest in finding out what is creating the conflict and working through the problem with the promise of helping ourselves to be happier and closer to one another and building a strong foundation for our families. Being happy in our marriage is hard work, and it takes time and sacrifice but is all worthwhile in the end. Learning that happiness comes from within and knowing that your partner has your back will make a tremendous difference for yourself, your partner, and your family.
This January, Choose to Stay Married and don’t fall for the false promises of “Divorce Month.”